The "Team Douchebag" Dilemma

I just read Chris Kluwe’s antagonistic attack on the group of people behind the hashtag, #Gamergate. You know what? I give up.

I don’t support any group anymore.

I don’t support the Christians because only those who are fanatical and dangerous get any screen time. I won’t support the atheists because, let’s face it, all you do is get antagonistic towards Christians and Catholics, but somehow you’re okay with Buddhism. I won’t support the LGBT community past my own personal friends anymore, because you use the exact same scare tactics that “normal” people use to make us afraid of you. I don’t support the current US government because, let’s face it folks, they don’t like anybody anymore. Maybe terrorists. That might be pushing a little, I don’t know anymore.

Bad Plan James, Bad Plan

Yep, and don’t think I’m unaware. But I need you to hear exactly what I’m saying. Until groups stop using the same tactics that men in power used against blacks, then women, then LGBT, I’m not listening to you anymore. Each of you seems to have a great message to improve the quality of the human condition…until you fall into the very trappings of intimidation and name-calling used to keep you down.

Yes, I’m white. Yes, I’m a male. Yes, there is a stereotype, perpetuated by YOUR GROUPS, saying I’m obviously a small-dicked, small-minded, overly-educated swine rolling in a mountain of money…but I can’t use the electrochemical signals in my nervous system for anything more than looking up keywords for porn. Fuck you. Seriously…fuck you.

You know what though? It’s not even your fault. It’s human nature. “I’m being done wrong, so I’mma do wrong back until the system changes.” Except…how has that worked out for us thus far? Groups fight groups that fight groups that are fighting groups.  Always has been, and it seems to be working out for us so far. Is it?

The Constant Fighting Needs to Stop

You know the current system isn’t working. You have to, when you’re in bed thinking about how to survive tomorrow, you know the system isn’t built for you. When you get on the computer and troll whatever douchebag is spouting off against your group, you’ve gotta know doing that won’t help anybody. Everything we do right now only lights the Chicago fire ever brighter, and friends, Chicago turned to white ashes ages ago. That’s what fighting fire with anonymous fire does…it creates a bigger fire which us pyros love to watch and it makes us feel better for a minute…but it doesn’t solve anything. Fighting doesn’t calm the spirit, name-calling literally does nothing but bring out the fight in everybody else. Am I getting through to you yet? No?

We’re ALL Douchebags Right Now

Chris Kluwe is a douchebag. I’m a douchebag, and you’re one, too. We are Team Douchebag, and never has there been a prouder group in the history of the planet. I can say this so I will say it, damn the consequences. As long as we can paint our enemies as evil, vilify them to the point that a few hundred to a few hundred thousand other douchebags agree with me, saying this is okay. Cause I’ve got numbers behind me. That is tribalism at its absolute worst. America and yes, the rest of the world, is ripe with douche-baggery, and it’s so common as to be accepted as part of societal norms. Our news uses it, every internet forum uses it, and we use it when we discuss matters among our friends and neighbors. We count on tribalism to keep us safe.

It’s working. You are certainly safe in most cases. But, like everything else humans seem to touch, we take it too far. We make threats to each other. Cause another tribe harm because otherwise, they might harm us. Or, worse yet, they can’t do anything about it. Our game is about fucking other tribes so hard they can’t even retaliate. Survival of the fittest, right?

Humiliation. Laws. Logic. Science. Death. Bodily harm. Threats. These are the tools that modern tribes use against each other in the grand chess game currently unfolding around us. Black pieces vs white pieces vs purple pieces vs rainbow colored pieces vs red white and blue pieces vs every damned color piece under the planet. Only one tribe can be right. Right? Tribes equal labels, people. And, as we have already discovered, labels are lacking in details.

What if we only had one label for each other? I’ve decided we’re all douchebags, but that isn’t even quite fitting, is it? Is it? What if we were all just people? What if every law was written for people? Not for/against women, blacks, whites, Asians, LGBT, Senators, Republicans, Catholics, Christians, Conservatives, Liberals, Donkeys, Elephants, military, law enforcement, criminals, the mentally ill, atheists, gamers, or any other label under the sun? Without labels, would the world work better? Worse?

Unfortunately, I don’t have that answer. What I do know, is the current system isn’t working. And so do you. So does Chris Kluwe. So do the members of #Gamergate. None of us should be so entitled to think we can vilify an umbrella name, a tribe…when there are individual people in that tribe who simply don’t fit under one label, who aren’t in just one situation.

Yet, Team Douchebag acts like the most entitled, small-minded prick on the planet. No, not acting…living the worst possible stereotype in the history of the planet. We can do better, people.