#LoveWins and a Warning About Victory

Image found at https://www.bostonglobe.com/news/nation/2015/06/26/white-house-lit-rainbow-colors-after-gay-marriage-ruling/YoPuTWIBwv2QHMrI4yxwKK/story.html

Gay marriage is real, it’s even LEGAL! Yaaaay! *throws multi-colored confetti in the air*

There’s something I want to say, as a warning, to all those celebrating the Supreme Court’s decision…

Please, please avoid the temptation to entice fights by throwing around generalized “We WON assholes” type posts on social media. Unless you’re just looking for a fight, which goes against both #LoveWins and your constant calls for equality.

See, there’s this thing about human beings: homosexual, pansexual, straight, white, colored, or polka-dotted, where we search for retribution after the fact, meaning, even after we’ve won a competition, we want to drill the victory into our opponents head (or arms, or eyes, or hands, or or or). That’s why gaming has such a thing as teabagging, which if you don’t know, is where a player’s avatar squats up and down over a fallen enemies head. It’s gross, unnecessary, and rampant. Much like some victory posts I’m seeing about legalized marriage for all.

Now, I am NOT saying don’t celebrate. I’m not even saying don’t scream it from the rooftops. You’ve earned the right to be legally recognized and that is a big deal. But these inflammatory messages I’m seeing already on social media suggest that suddenly, many members of the LGBT don’t care about equality, they care only about themselves and their feelings.

If you feel the need to attack somebody, there are plenty of anti-LGBT bigots left in the world. I am only asking that you target the individual bigots, rather than lumping or even insinuating that an entire group deserves to be offended. And if you feel the need to rub everybody’s nose in your brand new awesome shit, maybe that message of love you were preaching about a week ago doesn’t mean near as much now that you’ve won. What does that say about the entire movement?

Victory is sweet, but it can quickly become pungent. Don’t be that person that turns something sweet into something terrible and sour. I’d like to feel that I’m still welcome as an ally. Thanks in advance.

Stop Demonizing Me for Being a White Male

Stop. No stop it. That’s not even fair just stop!

Not exactly exhilarating arguments, are they? In fact, the words above sound like my five year old arguing with his older sister. The end result will be the same: you’ll laugh at me if that’s all I bring to the table for this debate.

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However, from everything I've been reading about “white privilege,” and everything I'm hearing about what, specifically white, straight, men, should say, these are the words we are left with to regurgitate without stepping on anybody’s toes.

I’m about to step on some toes.

From fem-nazi rhetoric to #BlackLivesMatter, I'm constantly barraged with how evil and patriarchal I am towards all groups outside of the Straight White Male Club. As I read article after article about all my supposed white privilege for being part of the SWMC, I discover I am part of rape-culture, though I've never touched a woman who didn’t consent, nor thought to. Me, specifically, because the author knows me in such a fucking intimate manner he knows my inner thoughts and processes (we've never met or spoken). Or this one, who apparently thinks that we are in the same boat because WHITE MAN!

I will say this: white, straight, males with money are highly privileged. Absolutely. So are black men with money. So are women with money. Mexican/Latinos, Spanish, Asians, Russians, and politicians with money have all kinds of privileges.

I'll also say that any kid who graduated from Howard University was pretty fucking privileged too. Let’s look at women’s colleges. I'm pretty sure anybody with a vagina has a better shot of getting into any of those schools than I ever did. Me, the white straight male that can do whatever the fuck he wants. Look, my point isn't that there shouldn't be black schools or women’s universities. I am saying, check your fucking privilege. I am saying that money buys a lot…color and gender have very little to do with what money can attain. And I'm also saying that you are not out in the dark, left cold to die in barren, lifeless nothingness just because you aren't the SWMC.

Stop demonizing me. I'm a fun guy to talk philosophy with. I'm easygoing and overall a passive fella. I make comic art from Minecraft skins. I wrote a fantasy novel and short story. Yeah, I have faults, and I’ve had thoughts that don't fit into the narrow, twisted corridors of words I am or am not allowed to say. I’m allowed that. I’m allowed an opinion that’s different from your opinion of what utopia could be. These are the thoughts that make life beautiful and fun and diverse…as well as dark and shitty and scary. We aren't allowed utopia. We have Earth, and it will be whatever we can manage to make it. We all make it a great place…and we're all guilty of causing somebody at least a little hell.

So stop. No, stop it. That shit’s not even fair.