WARNING: Trigger Word- Rape
A beautiful, smart addition has been added to the ranks
of Miss Nevada as of Sunday, June 8, 2014. Before being crowned, Nia Sanchez
was asked a random question that just so happened to be about the approximately
18% of campus women who are raped or sexually assaulted. Her answer (in part)?
“More awareness [of the issue] is very important so that
women can learn to protect yourself.”
“You need to be confident and able to defend yourself.”
Twitter exploded with women angry at this assertion that
a woman is responsible for taking care of herself. Just explore the following
hashtags from Sunday night: #YesAllWomen, #MissUSA, #MissNevada, #rapeculture
Plenty of articles are published about the outrage. I’d
like to take the discussion deeper than Ms. Sanchez’s words. I’d like to
present some reasons WHY what she said is completely fine, and why her words don’t
place blame on victims just for the sake of placing blame on victims.
Unfortunately, rape culture is a real thing in modern
America, and the world around us. The term “rape” is used far too nonchalantly,
far too comfortably, in online forums, chats, and even online games, where users have
no real face and probably have never dealt with the nightmare of being unable
to stop a person from abusing them. It’s sick, disgusting, and scary. And we
tend to blame victims only far too often.
However…
Proponents of reducing rape culture often place all of
the blame on anything that isn’t the victim. Look at the random fact above
again, I’ll wait. I’m not saying you don’t have the right to drink, and drugs
can be found anywhere; but if you’re going to go do these things and NOT have a
protection plan of action, you ARE taking a self-decided risk. One that, if you
look at statistics, isn’t proving your own intelligence. What I’m really saying
here, is that one must be willing to accept responsibility for their actions
BEFORE the assault comes into play. You can’t be drunk, by yourself at a party
where you don’t know anybody, and say that you should have been completely and
utterly safe. Saying so is at least inane, almost stupid.
That’s like saying a person should be able to enter a
foreign country during a war and not worry about getting shot or blown up. It’s
like saying a four-year old child should be able to walk home alone and not
worry about ever being kidnapped. Yeah, that’s how it should be, in a perfect world, but the world isn’t perfect. You can’t
pretend it is for everybody else when the situation suits you. There are certain
situations that most people will avoid just because something could happen. Why?
Because avoiding those moments are sane. Or, better yet, if you have to go into said situations, at
least be prepared for the worst to happen. Y’know, like soldiers training
before going overseas? Like a four-year old having a friend (preferably older)
leading him or her home from school? Like a woman taking a group of trusted
friends with her into a new, unknown party situation?
I keep hearing that “men should just learn not to rape.”
True story. We should. And most of us don’t even think about performing such an
act. MOST of us just want to hold your hand, have great conversations, and when
both sides are ready, enjoy the hidden paradise. Evil exists in the world
though. Bad men are going to do bad things.
So yes, please. Continue educating, continue changing the
way we use language, and continue advocating men acting less the beast and more
the gentleman.
But why in the hell would you refute the obvious advantage of being able to defend yourself?
In the eighties, it was hip for women to take martial arts
classes. Why? Because it became highly likely that they would be attacked by
thugs wanting an easy payday. While not all these women took martial arts
classes specifically, they did find self-defense classes…which you can find if
you look hard enough.
Do I expect all women to become the next Bruce Lee? No.
Do I expect women, and men, to realize their responsibility in getting into bad/unknown
situations? Absolutely. I don’t blame you for getting assaulted sexually, or
raped. That act is in the other person’s hands 100%. But you do have a choice in where you go, and
who you go with. Be smart, be prepared, and watch what the people around you
are doing. If you get a bad feeling about somebody, stay away. Finally, stop
saying that being able to protect yourself won’t go a long way as a prevention
strategy.
Nia Sanchez isn’t an idiot for her words. She’s willing
to take responsibility for her destiny. That’s nothing but respectable.
EXTRA: Good
Reasons for Martial Arts
-
Only
30 million Americans are estimated to have even taken a martial arts class. Of
those, less than 1/2000 achieve black belt status. That’s 0.3% of Americans
who have taken a class. Realize that
includes men AND women. If you achieve even one or two belts, you’re several
bars above the average Joe.
-
Personal Discipline: Martial arts is all
about disciplining body and mind. This can help you in your personal, business,
and spiritual life.
-
Knowledge: If you keep up with your
martial arts training, you’ll learn about how the body works, anatomy, and even
other cultures.
-
Health: The natural effect of learning
martial arts is hardening your body to be a weapon. You’re heart, brain, circulatory
system, muscles, bones, and more will become healthier if you perform your
martial art with conviction.
-
Self-Respect: Being able to defend
yourself, and knowing you are capable, are strong motivators to holding onto
self-respect. Your discipline will shine, even outside the dojo, and succeeding
at anything gives anyone a boost to mood.
Nia Sanchez photo found at: http://ouniversodosconcursos.blogspot.com/2014/04/miss-nevada-usa-2014-nia-sanchez.html
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